prayers of a toddler

Adeline loves to pray.  Since she could sit up in her highchair, we have always made sure she was aware of our mealtime prayers.  And we have always prayed with her at bedtime.

From that, stemmed Adeline wanting to pray herself.  She tells us who she wants to pray for and will often stop and say "pay" and want to pray.  It is so touching to hear her say "jeesh-us" and "ayyyy-MEN" when we walk her through her own prayers.

So lately she's been very possessive and not liking other people (strangers) to come into her space.  When we stroll through a crowd, she will say "gih owa way" (get out of the way) and will say "NO!" and wave her hand as if moving someone out of the way when we are going down aisles at the store.  When we play at the train table or other places, she will say "no, no, no!" and do the same to other kiddos that come around.  This has seriously disturbed me! The only thing we can figure out is that we say these things to our dog...SO we are pretty sure this is where it stemmed from.  Adeline is such a sweetheart and has such a joy-filled, nice little heart...so it makes me sad to think other toddlers and Mommas see something different when we meet new people.

We started talking about nice hands and what nice hands do.  She will now tell you that nice hands wave hello, bye bye, blow kisses, hug and pray. Ha! So sweet.  We have also talked about how God and Mommy and Daddy want her to be a nice girl.  But putting that into action when we talk up "being nice and using nice hands" has been a different story!

So this morning on the way to library Toddler Time, we talked about nice hands again and as we were it hit me...SHE SHOULD PRAY FOR HELP! So while I was driving, I asked her if she wanted to pray about being a nice girl.  If she wanted to ask God to help her.  She of course said yes, because she always wants to pray. ;) So I led her through a prayer she prayed aloud in her own little language asking God to help her be a nice girl and to give her help and strength to do so.  This moment will forever be in my heart and mind.

And you know what? She was seriously a changed little soul at the library.  She shared.  She was sweet, and she used nice hands and words.  We talked and talked throughout the library and when we left about how proud I was of her.  We called Daddy at work and told him all about her prayer and how she was a nice girl.  She was proud in her own little toddler way and kept telling him about the duck stuffed animal she had shared with another little girl.  I was so happy for her and proud of her.

Why it hadn't dawned on me to have her pray for help with something before, I'm not sure.  I pray for help all the time.  And we want Adeline to know from this young that prayer is powerful.  That prayer changes things.  It changes hearts.  And the Holy Spirit at work in our lives is a mighty thing.

This mommy thing is just so amazing.  The ability to help shape and mold her into a Christ-like little one that will grow up hopefully loving Jesus with all her heart for all her life.  And sharing that joy with those around her.  For this gift to be that role in her life, I am just so thankful.

The Blessing Box Link-Up

<a href="http://cait-theblessedlife.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdi8bhLnqwQCARE-R7S_Ab32byJbJk4Uc52n9kJQdHfQPq2IKoS47u3cgOrBHV5qPQUOKCLR3EersUwR4AMjREvf2WZzsuPviERs0df2mXCa1BhR2JJungPyWre-0NuSSTNrETuq_FSY/s320/the+blessing+box+10.jpg" width="320"></a>
I am so excited about co-hosting a new weekly link-up...

The Blessing Box

I will be hosting along with my sweet friends each Tuesday! Natalie, Beth Ann, Mallorie, Jordan, Allie and I will be sharing the blessings God has placed in our paths during the week.

We have been inspired by James 1:17a, "Every good and perfect gift is from above."

God blesses us daily, and it's important to be intentional on praising and thanking Him for those gifts in our lives! His love is so amazing, let's give Him the praise and recognition He deserves for the blessings He provides!

So make sure to come back, grab the box, and link-up with us each Tuesday!

(Disclaimer:  I'm pictureless this week because of computer probs.)

{Blessing One}

Contentment.  With me staying at home this year, Justin and I are working even harder on staying on-budget and being focused on how we spend/don't spend our money.  I am just so content with our current financial situation.  That God has given us contentment with so much less than our world tells us we need.  God continues to provide and be faithful in ways that consistently surprise us and remind us of His will in our lives.

{Blessing Two}

The joy my little girl brings to others.  I hear it so often, that Adeline is "pure joy".  Yes, I'm her mommy. But y'all...it's so true.  Case in point.  She absolutely made a sweet old lady's day at the grocery store the other day by talking to her, smiling and waving to her.  I see so many littles get so frightened by older people and Adeline has just never been like that.  We passed this lady a little later in another row, and without the lady seeing her at first, Adeline started waving to her and saying "bye bye. bye bye".  The lady melted and joy filled her face.  I'm so, so blessed.

{Blessing Three}

Simple words.  Just how the simple words over others that they don't even realize, can turn your eyes and heart to God in a new, enlightened way.  This happened to me in Sunday School on Sunday.  One of my friends mentioned how we need to find that way/place that we can get closest to God.  I think that we sometimes put in our minds a stereotypical way of worship.  But not all of us worship God the same way.  For me, it's nature.  I'm always, always drawn closer to God through nature.  Being it, sitting by the water or taking a walk.  It's nature that draws me closest to Him.  And I need to remember that.  I need to get to that raw place of worship much more often than I do.

oh yea. about june!

Our summer came and went so quickly.  But it was filled with awesome times that I don't want to forget!

{BEACH TRIP}

Our first big event in June was Adeline's FIRST FLIGHT! And our mommy/baby only trip to Florida!

The Daddies dropped us three mommies and babies off at the airport.  After saying our tough good-byes, we left the Daddies at home to work and headed down to the beach for a girls' trip to play! We mastered security, waiting for flights, flights, baggage checking and claim (by the grace of God and a really nice/patient airport employees), a hotel overnight stay, car rental, and short commutes through a big city going and coming.  But the tropical environment and beach awaited us...and it was FABULOUS!

ready for their first flight!

all smiles ready for take-off

three adorable beach babies!

overnight in a hotel after our flight down

this gal adores the beach (she's been every approx. 6 months of her life ;)

mornings on the lanai were a huge hit

flight home. ginger ale was a hit.

tres amigos

love this sweet girl

crazy water table shenanigans (drinking the wah-wah)

the pool!

dinners by the water

Keepin' it real:

-it was hard to organize around three different naps
-suckers were about all that worked at certain moments on the flight
-three mommies with three different ways of doing things...not always easy (my friends would agree)
-we missed the Daddies
-dinners weren't too peaceful ;)
-three toddlers playing off each others emotions and actions wasn't always great
  
Perks to this adventure:

-beach and pool time with friends
-mommy chat time after bedtime
-sun
-warm temps
-firsts
-adeline flew great (I thought she would want to run around like crazy)
-we had a blast!
-our meal planning and grocery list making before trip was successful
-and the list could go on!

{Mission Trip}

love my family so much

Justin's official start as Youth Minister at our church was at the beginning of June.  We grew up in our youth group and have served in the youth group for our entire marriage.  We've been on countless (for real) mission trips with our church all over the southeastern US and to the island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas.  But this was Justin's first "in charge" mission trip.  Our former youth pastor (and mentor) planned the trip since he was the current YP during planning season, but Justin was "head honcho in training". ;) We headed out just a couple days after getting home from our beach trip, but Adeline and I wouldn't have missed it!

caravan to Alabama!

fun with the other little kids and the big "kids"

delivering popsicles to the family groups at the worksite was a big hit

hard worker

helping Daddy paint at the Boys and Girls Club

work hard. play hard. aquatic center day!

she loved meeting new friends

all this travel was exhausting! ;)

working hard again

good thing she had her own work clothes!

Keepin' it real: 

-super, super late bedtimes
-Adeline was not a pack-n-play sleeping fan (we stayed in a church Sunday School room ;)
-loud atmosphere at bedtime
-naps were consistently on the go
-some meltdowns due to exhaustion

Perks to this adventure: 

-Adeline's first mission trip (out of the belly)!
-serving alongside our hubby/daddy
-raising Adeline to serve God's kingdom
-lots of "big kid" role models around
-just pure fun serving, worshipping and fellowshipping with our church family
-and the list could go on!

June was a busy blast! We had an amazing time on our adventures! We are so blessed to have such a joy-filled and blessed calendar of events, for sure.

still

Being still...

Not something I'm good at. At all. I busy myself. I multitask while I multitask. I worry. I get anxious. I try to handle it all. Myself.

But I'm really working with God and trying to let go and let Him change this in me. He knows me. Thank goodness. And He's fighting like mad to release me of this little quirk.

He's teaching me to be still. In many ways. For many reasons.

I convinced hubby a year ago that we "needed" our living room chair we have now for moments like tonight. I fell in love with the pattern. Paisley. Blues, greens, neutral. Perfection. I knew it would allow me to be still. To just be.

Truth: I can count the number of times I've intentionally used it to be still the past year on one hand.

Tonight though...it's different. It's not often I like different. But this change God is doing in me...it's a good thing. Hubby is asleep, baby is asleep and this I-don't-want-to-hold-it-all-together-on-my-own-anymore Momma is relaxing in a quiet house after a mad dash hour cleaning session and a busy, emotional roller coaster of a week.

I'm being still, taking a deep breath and feeling blessed.

"The Lord will fight for you...you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14

Our Easter Weekend

(Disclaimer: I'm blogging mostly from my phone right now using the Blogger app...so my pictures show up at the end of the post. Not ideal but it's what's working for me best right now to actually get some blog posts written about our blessed but busy days!)

"I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die."
-John 11:25-26

We had such a fun Easter weekend spending time together, with family and celebrating our risen Savior!

On Saturday, we had a warm day! I worked at our new store and Justin and Adeline came up and ate lunch with me. Adeline spent the afternoon with my mom and I at the store so Justin could work on tilling and seeing some grass seed in our back yard. Since it was so nice, I walked her down to the toy store that is next door to or store- she loves being at the store and greeting all the customers but she really LOVES the toy store- 2 stories of amazingness that I don't even want to leave! Grandma even gave her some cash to spend, so she picked out a pig studded animal (of course) and a Chuggington train. My little bargain shopper in the making got a free train with her purchase. ;)

That evening we took her by to meet the baby chicks and ducks at our local Tractor Supply- she loved seeing the "qua qua"s and telling them to "shhh" go to sleep and all about how they were droning their "wah wah". We had Boone with us and she got back in the truck and said "quah quah quah"- we said it was her way of telling Boon that he really would have loved the baby ducks! ;)

We spent that evening dying Easter eggs- you saw that post with pictures yesterday! :)

Today, we started our day letting Adeline enjoy her Easter basket. We settled on just some of her favorite puffs, some crayons (of course), and a take 'n play Thomas set (she doesn't have any tracks yet). We really want to keep the Easter Bunny minimum and the focus on Jesus, our Risen Savior. Adeline loved it all!

We got ready and headed to church. Adeline sported an adorable dress her grandparents picked out from her in Waynesville, NC. Love it! Our church service was a blessing (as always) and Adeline had a ball listening to the music in the service and the going to the nursery (she eats the nursery up these days- took us forever to get to this point!)

We had lunch at my parents'. We all got some Easter treats! :) Adeline got a fun shopping cart that holds her babies and lots of other little goodies. Adeline had her first egg hunt there. Her Uncle Matt and Daddy hid all the eggs for her on the big back porch. She loved finding them and putting them in her basket. She kept begging for "moh moh". When we came in she got to look inside all the eggs for the goodies and even "hid her eyes" while they hid the eggs again for her inside.

Our second round was at Justin's parents where we ate again! ;) Adeline got more Easter goodies- a bathing suit, a summer outfit, and bubbles. Adeline and her second cousins hunted for eggs outside after we ate. She had a blast running around outside and playing! She had another bag full of eggs. ;)

We had a great weekend and it's left us all pretty sleepy! Justin and I are wrapping up our weekend by relaxing on the count watching The Bible finale.

Happy Easter! May you be blessed and feel the presence of our Risen Savior!

diligence

We are currently taking a refresher course in Dave Ramsey's financial peace at church. We took the class at the same time way back before we were even officially dating. But a lot of things change after marriage, a house, new jobs, masters courses, and a baby later! ;)

Anywho...

In the most recent study, Dave did a lesson on the importance of certain types of insurance- but what stood out to me most was his demand, biblically speaking, for people to be diligent.

Diligent. It hit me hard.

The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; But every one that is hasty hasteth only to want. (Proverbs 21:5 ASV)

Even God's word speaks about this. I felt like God was saying to me...that's the piece of the puzzle you've been needing lately.

Not diligence to be plenty in money sense...although that's the plan with following Dave Ramsey's biblical money teachings for the long run ;) ....but plenty in life. Plenty in how I spend my time and what I gain from that through Christ. Peace. Hope. Calmness. Satisfaction that I know I'm doing all I can with the time He has gifted me.

I'm a type A, get it all done, do it all person. But let me just say...mommyhood (yet a place I'm truly diligent) has wiped me clean (mostly) of my type A-ness. You just can't always have everything in its place. You can't keep up with laundry like you used to. You can't cook perfect meals when a toddler is ripping through cabinets. Maybe possible- but not for me- not like it used to be.

So there's where diligence has left my side. I really have just let some things go and not kept up with things like I feel a diligent person would.

Intentional time with God, marriage (date nights/time alone specifically), daily household chores, "planning" for the future with certain recommendations Dave makes, healthy eating, and being active are just a few areas I feel like I need to be more diligent.

I want to prosper in God's eyes. I want to please him with how I spend my energy and time. I know I can't be perfect at all this but I also know me-and I know I can do better.

On the way to work I was praying about this and how Justin and I can be more diligent in our lives (because, seriously, it really hit me hard). I felt like God said to me...

Calm down and just take it a thing at a time. I know you can do this. I will help.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)

You all. I know I do a lot. I know I am a lot for a lot of people. I know I don't waste a TON of my time. But we are all convicted in different ways by the Holy Spirit as God sees fit. And He's convicted me. Because I know I can be better and do better. And I'm thankful that I've been taught that when I have that feeling...I need to change it and do something about it.

Precious Adeline just built her first tower by herself a couple days ago. Oh the diligence she showed as they wobbled. Stacking each one by one, when she had a steady tower, she was SO proud of herself.

I want to be like her. I want to look back on my tower of life and know that I did all I could do so that it glorifies Christ and points to him. I'm thankful it's a journey. And along the way, there is that sweet, amazing grace.

a new thing

Lately Justin and I have been in a deep place of reflection as a couple.  We knew a baby would change a lot of things, but I don't think we realized just how much having a little one would change our hearts and desires.  Adeline has brought us a joy that we are in awe of daily and has drawn us closer to God in a whole new way.

We have turned a new page and are really devoting ourselves to prayer and reading scripture in a deeper way than we have in the past in order to discern God's will and direction with what we're thinking and reflecting upon.

Our associate pastor at our church, who married us, and happens to be a very dear friend of ours and an amazing mentor in our lives, shared a verse with us that has completely changed my frustrated approach to the throne of God into one of hopeful, calm expectation in this time where God seems to be so quiet.

As we wait on God to answer our prayers in His way and in His timing, we're reflecting constantly upon these verses.

Isaiah 43:18 & 19

If you are a prayer warrior, we would so appreciate your prayers.  Prayers for discernment and wisdom.  Prayers for complete humbleness of self and trust in God.  Prayers that doors would open and we would hear God wherever and whenever He speaks.

In a time of not being sure about quite a bit, we are sure and hopeful in a God that has never let us down.  A God that promises to make a way where there doesn't seem to be a way.  A God that loves us far more than our hearts can comprehend. And a God that promises us new things daily through His amazing grace.

a blank canvas

Right now this blank canvas sits on my art easel in our living room...just waiting for the creation I decide on for Adeline's nursery.

There's something about a blank canvas that soothes my soul and gets me excited.  Maybe it's the unknown of what will be placed on it.  Maybe it's the relationship I develop with it as the artist.  Maybe it's the simplicity.  Maybe it's the fresh start.

Getting this canvas ready today and looking at it struck me as an "ah-hah" moment and related so closely with scripture Justin and I were looking at last night before bed.

When I came to bed, Justin was reading Matthew 25: 14-30, The Parable of the Talents.  It's a scripture we had both read before.  (I love verse 23...)

"His Master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master's happiness!"

This is a verse that often creeps into my mind (thank you Holy Spirit!) when I find myself freaking out getting a little stressed over something that's placed on my plate.  I'm reminded often that God is giving me opportunities...He wants to be able to say these exact words to me when I meet Him face to face.  And I believe, that even before that time comes, He longs to whisper this verse in my ears as I am an obedient servant of His.

So back to this blank canvas.

Later in the parable (verse 29-30), it gets a little tricky and makes you cringe a bit.  You know how parables make yah think!

"For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance.  Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.  And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Yeah, read it a couple times--better yet, go and read the entire parable--it makes you stop and infer.  The Bible is good like that.  Well, the Author is good like that!

This is where our discussion began last night...what exactly this meant.  It was a verse we'd both been quick to read over and not really think too much about.  After discussing and using those awesome footnotes in our bibles, we realized that Jesus was talking about bearing fruit here.  That we shouldn't play it safe and hold onto that gift of Grace that comes through believing that Christ died for our sins and having a personal relationship with Him...but that we should bear fruit.  We have to spread the word, live it OUT LOUD, so that there is something produced from our lives as His servant.

This is where that blank canvas comes in.  His mercies are new every.single.day.  I'm thankful for a blank canvas of my heart that only comes through Him.  This blank canvas means I have a new day.  A day to be productive in my walk with Christ.  A day to create a masterpiece out of His love for me.

our road to you (the ending)

To read the previous parts of this story:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

On the way to the drug store to pick up prenatal vitamins (um, yes, this wasn’t planned…so I was only taking Flintstones occasionally), I called to make our first appointment with the doctor…March 25^th.  My next step was deciding how to tell Justin.  I only sent him a text to let him know about my bladder infection because we had already discussed that I may test the next weekend if I hadn’t gotten my period.  I didn’t want to have to lie to him…I wanted to tell him in person.  So he called me a few minutes later.  Thank goodness he didn’t ask me about if they checked to see if I was pregnant, because I wouldn’t have been able to hold it in and would have had to tell him on the phone.  (Later, he told me he didn't ask on the phone on purpose....he didn't want to find out that way if I was pregnant.)

So I decided to go to a local store to pick up a cute pair of baby socks at a store near our house to put with a card for the in-the-dark daddy-to-be.  Well this plan was thrown for a loop.  I pulled into the parking lot and what else do I see but his work truck? So I quickly left and came home.  I got a call a little later from Justin letting me know he was stopping by the house quickly to get a tool they needed on the job.  (This was after I had already tested again at home…you know…just in case the whole doctor’s office test was wrong.  Two pink lines.  Again.  Yep.  Pregnant.) I prayed he wouldn’t ask.  He didn’t.  He grabbed the tool, came back into the living room, and then it came…. “So you’re not preggers, huh?” (so nonchalant!) ;) I looked at him slowly and he knew.  

I let him know that I was, for some crazy reason that only God knows, that I was.  I got the smile I hoped for.  The smile that reassured me that no matter how scared and alone I felt moments ago, that I wasn’t alone in this and that everything was going to be okay.  He was in total shock but hugged me so excited.  I went over all the details as the shocked grin remained on his face.  “So when am I going to be a dad?” I let him know that it would be sometime in October or November and that the blood work would confirm how far along I was.  I cried in relief that he was happy.  I wasn’t sure how he would take it.   

As he left, we talked about how we’d been praying God would open doors…and for some reason…this is the door he opened.  The door to being mommy and daddy.  So now I know exactly why God placed Jeremiah 29:11 on my heart for us to memorize as a couple a few weeks before…because He would use it so many times over the course of the next few months as we prepared our minds and hearts for a precious blessing…a baby.

our road to you (part 4)

Read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first.

Little did I know that right around that same time God was also working in Justin’s heart and planning His miracle to send to us.  Later in February, Justin came to me to tell me that he had decided that he was okay with having a baby.  He didn’t want to start trying by any means, but he was okay if it happened.  For some reason, that made me happy, but I was also in a very stressful/emotional point due to lots of stress between work and school and wasn’t able to fully appreciate that and love those words as much as I thought I would.  I guess I wasn’t at a point of whole-heartedly being ready…my mind wasn’t there at that point.   

I started to feel on-and-off sick in many different ways over the next couple weeks. (I’m only documenting these specifics because I want to remember them for future pregnancies.  These details will probably be cut from sweet baby’s version of this story.) It started with horrible indigestion that I thought was turning into a stomach virus.  I’ve always had stomach issues, so really I thought nothing of it.  That went away within a couple days.  Next came a sore chest and cramping.  I was excited, because I thought this meant my period was coming.  Since starting the pill the summer we got married, I had not felt one measly symptom of anything related to PMS and had only had my cycle once.  So feeling them made me sure that something was up.   

Next, came awful symptoms of a urinary tract infection.  Lovely.  Waking up miserable one morning (March 1^st) I decided to leave work early that day to go to the doctor.   When I went into the office, the nurse asked me what was going on.  I explained that I thought I had a bladder infection, but I also wanted to be cautious because I was so irregular with my periods and wanted to make sure I didn’t take any antibiotics that could be harmful if for some crazy reason, I was pregnant.  She understood.  I sat in the small office waiting on the results on the infection.  Sure enough, the doctor told me I showed all the symptoms.  This is when I decided to remind her of my concern for possibly being pregnant.  (My body was telling me something.)  She decided to yell, yes, yell out to the nurse, “Hey run a pregnancy test on that urine.” That’s when I heard from the hall, “Pregnancy test? Okay.”  At this point I was already mortified because of the smallness of the town I live in.  I wasn’t mortified I might be pregnant.  A little scared, nervous, anxious maybe.  But the mortified feeling came from the fact that I didn’t want the whole office to know, which some of whom also know most of my family, before my husband even had the chance to know.  It’s humorous now that I look back on it.   

So I sat up on the bed for her to feel my stomach and back due to my bladder infection.  She sat down on the chair to discuss any other symptoms I was having due to my infection.  That’s when I noticed her eyes look in the direction of the door as it cracked open.  Mind you, I couldn’t see the nurse.  I knew this meant something.  My doc exclaimed with wide eyes, “Oh, no doubt about it huh? Ok.” She turned and looked at me… "Well, it does look like you are pregnant.  Congratulations.”  My reaction was shock as I put my hands on my cheeks as I exclaimed, “No way.”  We sat as I tediously waited for her to make her decision on the antibiotic to prescribe since I was pregnant.  What? I’m pregnant?! I still didn’t believe it.  Next was a blood test to determine how far along I was.   

The sweet nurses oohed and ahhed over the exciting pre-lunch news in the office.  I was still praying no one I knew was in the office.  After having blood drawn and sweet congrats from the nurses, I was out the door with this life-changing news that I couldn’t share.  Yet…

Final part coming next!

not just any Friday

via

Today I can't help but think about grace.

Grace that is available to anyone.  No matter who you are.  No matter what is in your past.

Grace that completely changes your life...redeems you...and comes with no conditions.

Although our hearts should be intentional on praising God every day for this grace He provided through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross...today is a day that we should reevaluate our hearts and truly consider if we are living grace-filled, thankful lives for what our sweet Savior did for each.one.of.us.

Are we living for Him? He gave His life for us.
Are we loving Him and his children with all we have?  He calls and beckons us to this.
Are our hearts living the redeemed life we are blessed with if we've made the decision to follow Christ?

Today, this grace amazes me like it has so many times since I decided to follow Jesus.  It stops me in my tracks, humbles me, and brings tears of awe and thankfulness to my eyes.

And the best part about all of this? Good Friday isn't the end of the story.  He is risen.  He longs to walk with us.

How does this grace impact your life today? Every day? Questions about this sweet grace? Please don't hesitate to contact me.

our road to you (part 3)

Just getting started? Read part 1 and part 2.

I heard about an amazing book, Starting Your Family-Inspiration for Making Babies by Steve and Candace Watters (which was highly recommended to me…and I highly recommend it to any couple desiring God’s plan in starting a family for His glory).   

At this time, I also felt as if God was answering many prayers of my heart.  He was giving Justin the desire to pray for God’s will and timing in starting a family.  Justin was praying and being open to the idea of starting a family sooner than he had thought.  He started to desire being a dad himself (whenever it happened)…and couldn’t wait for it.  At times we thought it might have happened accidentally (although there are no accidents with God), and each time he came to me explaining that he had handed it over to God and was excited for whatever God’s plan was.  These times of course did not result in a baby. We still weren’t at the point of taking the plunge to try.  Obviously, it wasn’t God’s timing yet.  

In reading this book, I started to learn the importance of prayer.  The importance of handing every.single.desire over to God.  Jeremiah 29:11 became more and more prominent in my heart, mind, and prayers.   

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.”   

I battled daily with talking to Justin more about it.  Until one morning on my way to work (February 14, 2010), God reminded me… “Give it to me.  Just give it to me.”  I did.  That morning in my car at a stop sign.  I prayed to God, “Lord take this away.  I don’t want to give it to you.  But you want it.  I need to give it to you.  Lord I’m handing it to you to control.  I’m just here.   Waiting.”  That was a prayer I had battled with tremendously.  I hate losing control. And yes, I’m even naive enough to loathe giving control to my Savior.  However, I did.  And then I waited…

our road to you (part 2)

If you are just getting started...read part 1 here.

For some reason, God wouldn’t let me move on.  My early morning car rides to work started to become an impatient plead to God.  “Lord, please make your will be known.  Align the desires of our hearts.”  I knew God was working in my heart.  It was also at this time, after a lot of issues with my desire for intimacy since starting the pill, and after much research, I went off the pill.  This decision wasn’t at all one we made considering getting pregnant.  We did it as a way to regain the intimacy in our marriage and to help me get back to a point where I felt like I had control over my body.  Both of which the pill had completely taken from us.   

During this time, my cycle was very irregular, and finding out it was a common occurrence when going off the pill, I was so happy that we had made this choice well before we were trying to start to have a family in hopes that those “issues” would be worked out before we took the leap of faith with trying to have a baby.  Once this happened, however, we then both started considering the fact that this was a big jump of faith, because we knew it meant we could possibly become pregnant (even though we were still being cautious).

When the desires didn’t go away after much prayer and reflection…and honestly, just became more prominent and stronger…I knew this was something God-breathed and God-designed growing in my soul.  At this point, I realized it was only a matter of time.  Time.  A word this impatient person isn’t fond of.  Justin and I had many conversations about starting a family.   

At this point (late 2010) we even started a “Before Starting a Family” list.  I thought…okay…if we get it down on paper…make it concrete…once the list is checked off, he’ll be ready.  But then God reminded me that His plan is not about a list we created.  It’s about His perfect timing.  His perfect plan.  The list went out the window.  Amidst this time…friends started having babies.  Friends announced pregnancies.  And my mind continued in the “I want to be a mommy” whirlwind.  Forget my masters…I could complete it after.  Forget being financially stable enough for me to stay home (if that's what we decided on) on paper.  I was ready.  Justin…still was not…

our road to you (part 1-written from my heart)

There was a time within the last year that I found myself yearning to be a mommy.  Looking back, I know this "baby fever" was completely God-designed.  Justin and one of my closest friends (and maybe my mom was picking up on it), were the only ones that knew about this desire that had been laid upon my heart.  Writing is so therapeutic for me and so one day this winter I just started writing the journey that I knew was leading us eventually to our first child...even though we weren't even at a point of starting to try.  I post this this both humbled and amazed by God's attention to our lives and our desires.  I have chosen to share my deep desires and longings that I recorded, because of how God has played out all the details and it's a story that truly shows His faithfulness to our lives.  I have a hard time being vulnerable...but God has taught me that it leads to depending on Him and His plans.  I am sharing to absolutely, in no way, boast or brag about it being easy for us to get pregnant.  Obviously (from the entire story) you will see this was all God's plan...not ours.  His timing...not ours.  Honestly, I am humbled by how God has worked in our lives and literally have been taken to my knees to pray for those that struggle to get pregnant and are still amidst their journey to a baby.  I write this to simply share my story.  We all have one...and I believe...God wants us to share it to display His glory.

I write this with a heavy heart full of anxiousness, impatience, yet hope and gratitude.  God has been working on my heart in an area I didn’t think he would awaken for quite some time.  Little did I know, he awakened it much sooner than I anticipated.  Justin and I got married with the agreement that we both wanted children greatly.  Never in our minds was it something that was just a “maybe”.  We knew God had always called us to be a mom and dad…and thanks be to Him…He called us to it together.  I cherish and adore this calling.  With that being said, we also both discussed it would probably be about five years before we would consider starting to try to have a family.   

We got married…neither of us considering to be really young parents.  We wanted “our time” together.  Honestly, I think it was so far out in “our plan” that it was something we didn’t wholeheartedly think about or even pray about…for God’s timing to reign over ours.  We knew it would be when Justin completed his bachelors degree and when I completed my masters degree.  Plain and simple.  In reflection, that all seemed like perfect timing.  However, God did something in my heart what seemed like the day I hit 24 (2010), that I wasn’t expecting, and Justin would maybe say he was blindsided by as up until this point, he thought we were on the same page.  I did too.

I don’t know if it was biological (probably) or environmental (maybe), but that clock everyone talks about seemed to awaken in me.  I started to become captive of thoughts about being a mom.  (More so than in the past.)  It started to be something I honestly pictured myself doing (in reality) and literally longed for.  What had been a figment of my way-off-in-the-future imagination, turned to be a real-live-wide-awake desire in my heart, soul, and body.  

I am more than grateful to be married to a caring, patient, kind man.  A man that has always held my heart with tender care and taken every word I say to heart….even when we were just friends.  I am so thankful that God blessed me with a husband that I have absolutely no reservations on coming before and sharing my most deep and secretive desires with after sharing them with my Maker.  I approached Justin with the thoughts I was having in many random conversations.  Poor guy…now that I look back on it. He understood my thoughts.  He understood my longings.  He wanted to be a dad still too (whew.)…just not right now.  That last statement is the statement that would cause my yearnings to become a tad bit dreadful at times.  I shrugged that off for a while, realizing, that maybe I was just letting my emotions get the best of me.  It was my clock.  I should ignore it.  That's what the world says.  Get a grip and move on…

memory verse

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The thought of Spring coming and this being my birthday month has gotten me so excited! I feel like I've gotten a zap of energy with those random tastes of warm weather we get here and there.  With that being said, I'm not very energetic right now when it comes to posting.  I'm so out of words right now to blog about.  I'm sure my writing energy will come back soon.  Be patient with me. :)  I wanted to share our memory verse for the week in hopes that it gives you a burst of faith energy.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:23

May you find hope in His love and promises.

wait.

 I just love when I sit down in my seat at church and I hear a message that feels as though God wrote it JUST for me.  JUST for that moment.  JUST at the time I needed to hear it.

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The message this Sunday was on waiting.  Waiting on the Lord.  It's something I'm not good at.  I have a few things going against me on this one:  I'm a self-proclaimed Type A, inattentive, busy-body, planner-to-a-tee, say-yes-to-everything, be-everything-to-everyone, impatient girl.

And today, God shared a message with me.  It's as if He dropped a little love note right out of the sky.  It came through our guest pastor at church and it came through this scripture: 

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is  disregarded by my God'? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the  Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the faint, and  strengthens the powerless.  Even youths will faint and  be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.  

Isaiah 40:27-31

What has gripped at my hear the most, is that He doesn't leave me alone when He says wait.  It doesn't mean He's not working.  It doesn't mean He's not answering prayers.  In the middle of waiting (on what seems like so many things and answers right now), He is working fiercely on my heart.  It's not easy.  And to be honest, it's not the way I want it.  But it's what's best.  It's not all about me.  And whether I like it or not, God knows just what He's doing when He calls me to wait on Him.  He knows it's not in my nature.  He knows He has to hold tight to me.  And He knows He's not finished with me.  So now, I wait.  And oddly enough....I'm full of joy doing it.

How do you practice patience? What is God teaching you about waiting on Him?

my mountain

My poor, pitiful blog has been left alone lately.  I know.  But hopefully I'm back.  At least for now.  I've decided with the start of a new year that I really am going to be less "on my own case" about blogging all the time.  I'm planning on just blogging when I feel the need.  Blogging when I truly want to share something or document something.  Blogging for a purpose...not just blogging to blog.  I truly do love it.  I love blogging.  I love connecting.  Because I love writing.  And I love being able to share what God is doing in my life.  And wow...He has been working so much in my life lately.  Or really, the more I think about it, it's just that I'm paying more attention.

One thing was laid heavy on my heart the last few months of 2010.  It was the fact that God had placed so much on my heart throughout the year.  So many things that I felt convicted to do.  But one thing was wrong.  I wasn't moving.  I felt the nudge...but I stood still.  And it made me ashamed and sick to my stomach to think about it.  I even had the nerve to exclaim that God just wasn't talking to me. Ever been there?

Maybe it was laziness.  Maybe it was not knowing where to begin.  Sometimes I'm like that.  I get so indecisive that I freeze and don't make a decision at all.  Well with 2011, I've decided that I'm putting a stop to not moving.  I'm refusing to let God's convictions on my heart to stop there.  I'm ready to move.

Within the last couple years I've really learned a lot about trusting God's will.  To lay it all out there and pray like crazy for God to open doors and move mountains.  I prayed so often in the past, "Lord, let your will be done."  I've prayed for God to show me the way, for God to make His will known, for God to put certain things in my life or take things away.  But what I've most recently learned through tons of reflection and studying the bible, is that I haven't been taking the leap.  That scary leap of faith.  And maybe even worst, I haven't been completely trusting that my humble prayers can honestly move mountains if I just believe and trust.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 21-22

In the first week of 2011, I have probably taken more leaps of faith than maybe all of 2010.  I'm turning a new page.  When I pray, I'm praying boldly and praying knowing and believing wholeheartedly that God will answer. That He will move what seems like mountains in my life.  So far, after much prayer, I have taken two huge leaps of faith...and the peace in my heart is possibly an answer to prayer within itself.  These steps have opened my eyes to God's amazing, passionate love for me.  Me.  And His attention to every. single. detail in my life.  I am overjoyed as I pray and wait on God...wait to see just what mountains He moves.  And wait to take the next leap of faith.

How has God moved mountains in your life? What has He taught you so far this year?

christmas spending savvy

Today's topic...

Thrifty Christmas Tips!

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Grab the button and link-up for the fun!

If you've read my blog for long, you know that I'm all about being thrifty and saving money! Our budget is our friend.  And that fact doesn't change around the holidays!

A few things that keeps us budget-focused during the holidays...

-First things first...create a Christmas spending budget and stick to it.  (We go as far as setting a specific amount we're spending for each person.)

-Pay with cash.  (If you've budgeted for an item, you can easily pay cash for it.  If you pay with cash, you won't feel the expense after Christmas, too.) 

-Keep a record of every gift you buy so you see how much you have left to spend on someone.  It helps you stay focused when you shop and allows you to easily see how much you can still spend.

-Go in together with someone on a gift that may be too much to spend.

-Make a gift.  Handmade is always cherished!

-Buy in groups.  For example, Old Navy recently had a buy one, get one free sale on sweaters...there you can get a better deal on an item, plus you will have an item for two people on your list.  Or many times Bath and Body Works offers deals when you buy three or more of something.  If it would be a nice gift for more than one person on your list, go ahead and buy three of them (as long as you have a recipient in mind).

-Hunt for deals.  If you've vowed to be more crafty with next year's gifts...hit up the day after Christmas sales for 50% off items.

-Host a Christmas party together with a friend or another couple.

-If you can't afford it...don't buy it.

And really...remember things are just things.  Giving should be joyful, not a budget burden.  The real gift of Christmas is that God's love was given to us in a manger.  His love and grace are ours for the taking and giving.  Share that priceless message with someone this Christmas.  It's absolutely free.  How much better does that get?

What are your thrifty holiday tips?

Link up your Christmas musings (anything else you have on your heart/mind) tomorrow for our final day of the 12 Days of Christmas link-up!