our road to you (part 4)

Read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first.

Little did I know that right around that same time God was also working in Justin’s heart and planning His miracle to send to us.  Later in February, Justin came to me to tell me that he had decided that he was okay with having a baby.  He didn’t want to start trying by any means, but he was okay if it happened.  For some reason, that made me happy, but I was also in a very stressful/emotional point due to lots of stress between work and school and wasn’t able to fully appreciate that and love those words as much as I thought I would.  I guess I wasn’t at a point of whole-heartedly being ready…my mind wasn’t there at that point.   

I started to feel on-and-off sick in many different ways over the next couple weeks. (I’m only documenting these specifics because I want to remember them for future pregnancies.  These details will probably be cut from sweet baby’s version of this story.) It started with horrible indigestion that I thought was turning into a stomach virus.  I’ve always had stomach issues, so really I thought nothing of it.  That went away within a couple days.  Next came a sore chest and cramping.  I was excited, because I thought this meant my period was coming.  Since starting the pill the summer we got married, I had not felt one measly symptom of anything related to PMS and had only had my cycle once.  So feeling them made me sure that something was up.   

Next, came awful symptoms of a urinary tract infection.  Lovely.  Waking up miserable one morning (March 1^st) I decided to leave work early that day to go to the doctor.   When I went into the office, the nurse asked me what was going on.  I explained that I thought I had a bladder infection, but I also wanted to be cautious because I was so irregular with my periods and wanted to make sure I didn’t take any antibiotics that could be harmful if for some crazy reason, I was pregnant.  She understood.  I sat in the small office waiting on the results on the infection.  Sure enough, the doctor told me I showed all the symptoms.  This is when I decided to remind her of my concern for possibly being pregnant.  (My body was telling me something.)  She decided to yell, yes, yell out to the nurse, “Hey run a pregnancy test on that urine.” That’s when I heard from the hall, “Pregnancy test? Okay.”  At this point I was already mortified because of the smallness of the town I live in.  I wasn’t mortified I might be pregnant.  A little scared, nervous, anxious maybe.  But the mortified feeling came from the fact that I didn’t want the whole office to know, which some of whom also know most of my family, before my husband even had the chance to know.  It’s humorous now that I look back on it.   

So I sat up on the bed for her to feel my stomach and back due to my bladder infection.  She sat down on the chair to discuss any other symptoms I was having due to my infection.  That’s when I noticed her eyes look in the direction of the door as it cracked open.  Mind you, I couldn’t see the nurse.  I knew this meant something.  My doc exclaimed with wide eyes, “Oh, no doubt about it huh? Ok.” She turned and looked at me… "Well, it does look like you are pregnant.  Congratulations.”  My reaction was shock as I put my hands on my cheeks as I exclaimed, “No way.”  We sat as I tediously waited for her to make her decision on the antibiotic to prescribe since I was pregnant.  What? I’m pregnant?! I still didn’t believe it.  Next was a blood test to determine how far along I was.   

The sweet nurses oohed and ahhed over the exciting pre-lunch news in the office.  I was still praying no one I knew was in the office.  After having blood drawn and sweet congrats from the nurses, I was out the door with this life-changing news that I couldn’t share.  Yet…

Final part coming next!