I heard about an amazing book, Starting Your Family-Inspiration for Making Babies by Steve and Candace Watters (which was highly recommended to me…and I highly recommend it to any couple desiring God’s plan in starting a family for His glory).
At this time, I also felt as if God was answering many prayers of my heart. He was giving Justin the desire to pray for God’s will and timing in starting a family. Justin was praying and being open to the idea of starting a family sooner than he had thought. He started to desire being a dad himself (whenever it happened)…and couldn’t wait for it. At times we thought it might have happened accidentally (although there are no accidents with God), and each time he came to me explaining that he had handed it over to God and was excited for whatever God’s plan was. These times of course did not result in a baby. We still weren’t at the point of taking the plunge to try. Obviously, it wasn’t God’s timing yet.
In reading this book, I started to learn the importance of prayer. The importance of handing every.single.desire over to God. Jeremiah 29:11 became more and more prominent in my heart, mind, and prayers.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
I battled daily with talking to Justin more about it. Until one morning on my way to work (February 14, 2010), God reminded me… “Give it to me. Just give it to me.” I did. That morning in my car at a stop sign. I prayed to God, “Lord take this away. I don’t want to give it to you. But you want it. I need to give it to you. Lord I’m handing it to you to control. I’m just here. Waiting.” That was a prayer I had battled with tremendously. I hate losing control. And yes, I’m even naive enough to loathe giving control to my Savior. However, I did. And then I waited…