Not something I'm good at. At all. I busy myself. I multitask while I multitask. I worry. I get anxious. I try to handle it all. Myself.
But I'm really working with God and trying to let go and let Him change this in me. He knows me. Thank goodness. And He's fighting like mad to release me of this little quirk.
He's teaching me to be still. In many ways. For many reasons.
I convinced hubby a year ago that we "needed" our living room chair we have now for moments like tonight. I fell in love with the pattern. Paisley. Blues, greens, neutral. Perfection. I knew it would allow me to be still. To just be.
Truth: I can count the number of times I've intentionally used it to be still the past year on one hand.
Tonight though...it's different. It's not often I like different. But this change God is doing in me...it's a good thing. Hubby is asleep, baby is asleep and this I-don't-want-to-hold-it-all-together-on-my-own-anymore Momma is relaxing in a quiet house after a mad dash hour cleaning session and a busy, emotional roller coaster of a week.
I'm being still, taking a deep breath and feeling blessed.
"The Lord will fight for you...you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14