love letters in waiting

I really went back and forth on if I would write a "valentiny" post.  I'm really sorta cynical about this whole love holiday.  I don't know why.  I have gobs of unconditional love in my life and I am all about love.  Haha....that sounds cliche.  But Valentine's Day has never impressed me.  However, the spirit of love got the best of me.  Cupid-1 Cait-0

When I was in college my best friend and I came up with the idea of creating a journal to our future husbands.  We decided that all of our heartfelt prayers and thoughts for our future hubbies should be recorded to share with them in the future.  I am more sentimental than anyone I know so the idea of all the memories this journal would hold delighted me like crazy.  Sometimes this trait is a good thing...sometimes it's a little much. :) (Oh I can only imagine what it will be like when we have kids...) So on July 25, 2005 I started my journal to my future husband.  (Little did I know that my wedding would be three years from that July and little did I know that the soon-to-be audience of this notebook was a man of God that I met back in Kindergarten and was rebuilding a great friendship with at the moment.)

In this notebook, I wrote an entry about every month.  There were days I was overflowing with thoughts for him.  Then there were days where I was frustrated and annoyed and couldn't put words on a page as a way of "boycotting" the idea of love and turning my ignorant nose to God and His plans. 

Never did I picture the reader of this journal. I just wrote to God and my future husband. Silly dates that I went on in college didn't blur my vision of who the reader of this journal may be. No one captured my heart or intrigued me in a way that got my heart fluttering enough to think that I may have found the recipient of this journal.

Looking back in the journal today, I did find that I wrote my "future hubby" a letter on Valentine's Day of 2006 and 2007. (I guess I was too "head-over-heels" in 2008 with Justin to worry about a letter in my journal...because there isn't one there on that Valentine's Day.)

I still remember the exact moment that inspired my 2007 valentine letter.  I explained it in my letter as: "Today while driving back to my apartment...God sent me a gentle and sweet little Valentine.  My thought was just how blessed I am to be so loved by my Savior, that He is keeping me free from the pain and heartache of being in a relationship that is wrong.  Instead, He is having me remain single, as He continues to craft all the details at the right moment so that we meet in His perfect timing! My singleness is a gift of love!! Wow! A whole new perspective." This was a life-changing perspective for me.  This was the best Valentine I ever received...God's gentle love and peace.

My journal continued including many entries.  The next one was on June 7th when I wrote the first entry to a specific person...Justin--my future husband.  I then wrote about events to remember that led us through our love story, our engagement story when he proposed in the same sanctuary we would be married in, the note that came from the flowers he sent me my freshman year of college when were were just friends and he told me "every girl deserves flowers on Valentine's Day", a card I sent him on Chrysalis, a Christian retreat we both attended and worked, a letter the weekend before our big day, and finally an entry the night before our wedding.  The next day on our honeymoon I would share this journal with the man I wrote to for three years. 

So even though I think Valentine's Day is sappy....our love story is more than a "Hallmark holiday".  To call our love story "sappy" would be watering down the very words of the most awe-inspiring love story author...God.  I will share more of our story in a future post...but God has had His hand in every single moment from Kindergarten until now that has crafted our love story.  Thankfully, through His timing, God turned those "love letters in waiting" to "love letters delivered".

Single? It's never too late to start your very own journal to your future husband.  God's timing is perfect.  Married? Start one to him today.  Happy Valentine's Day all.  Hope you are inspired by the Creator of everlasting Love.